Compromise Helps

Okay, two days now. I did go swimming yesterday and do my usual farm work that I think counts as aerobic exercise. I've decided on some things, like food and love, compromise is important. So...my compromise with hot chocolate (I just can't start the day without it) is that I use "healthy" sugar (just dehydrated cane juice) and then limit myself to one cup a day. I seem to be happier this way.
One of my chickens died yesterday. It was really bizarre, chickens are bizarre creatures. It had been out all night and I think attacked by a cat or something so it had a little cut. The other hens (before I knew about it) tore at her feathers around it on her head until she was completely bald! They go into killing frenzy when they see blood I guess and by evening she was a goner. So sad! What's so ironic is that she dies because of a gash in her neck but my other hen survives having her leg bitten off! Go figure.
Speaking of figures....I'm still at it, improving my figure that is.
Thanks to everyone who reads this and comments, I really appreciate the support!!

This is Hard!!

Breaking old habits is soooo hard. And it seems like there are so many things out there wanting to thwart your goals. I sat down to play my cello and started tuning it and the string broke!! How stupid is that? So it took me a while to put a string back on and then tune it and then.....of course, it was time to go pick up Ben from band practice! So, no practicing for me today with all the other things on my schedule. And I seriously was so close to giving in and having hot chocolate. I think you go through withdrawals even with chocolate.
So day one is over and hopefully it's going to get easier and easier.

I am officially starting a new healthy lifestyle. So here, in my blog, I will "journalize" my experience. A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step and it really does seem like it will be a long journey for me. But, here's the first step.
My goals are to start exercising every day, lose 30 pounds (I'm 165 now) and eat healthier (chocolate has started to take over my life.) I never knew one could be addicted to chocolate but it's true for me. I don't have a problem with chocolate, I have a problem without it. I need to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and less meat.
I think the first step is one of the hardest, however. I am so entrenched in habit, good or bad. I am used to having hot chocolate in the morning, without it, I'm all depressed. You don't know how many times I convinced myself that a cup of hot chocolate in the morning is okay after swearing off the stuff. Every time I attempt to lose weight and start a new healthy lifestyle, I sabotage myself! I give in, or give up. I convince myself that I'm being too extreme. I decide that today is not the day to start my diet, a Monday would be better, or the first of a month. Or, I cheated already, might as well wait until tomorrow.
I find that I do this in other aspects of my life as well like exercising, practicing cello, dressing better, reading my scriptures, writing and finishing my novel, trying out for musicals, staring a band, cleaning the house, planting flowers... I lack inner discipline to achieve my goals. I lack the stick-to-it-ness that one needs to change, truly change. But I NEED TO CHANGE!! Quoting from "Don't Cry For Me Argentina", "I have to let it happen, I have to change." I will never discover who I really am inside if I do not change. If I do not discipline myself and develop healthy habits - good, positive habits.
So, I take the first step...and hope that there will be those along the journey to cheer me on and wish me success.

Back in the Saddle Again

I'm back in the saddle again so to speak, we're finally in the egg business after a fox devasted our flock. I got 8 hens from Coleen, the mother of one of Andrew's friends. It's wonderful to enjoy "homegrown" eggs again. I was so in the habit of having my own eggs that I kept forgetting to buy eggs at the store. I'd begin to make muffins and realize I didn't have eggs. Shoot! I figured out how to make a lot of things sin huevos but it wasn't as good.
Our little farm is growing. We added four ducklings to our fowl family and three turkeys. (What's the baby name for turkey, turklette?)
The trouble is...the fox. I was reinforcing the chicken coop yesterday, putting up more chicken wire, my trusty Border Collie at my side. Suddenly he looked up, barked and tore after a fox. It was broad daylight, eleven in the morning, and he was heading for the "snack bar", the chicken coop! Toby chased him all the way to his den but he got way ahead of me and I couldn't find it.
We have tried trapping this fox but he is too...well, sly. "Sly like a fox" has taken on new meaning for me. We had a trapper who works for Wildlife come and set a snare where we think the fox is climbing under the fence. Instead of catching the fox we caught a racoon one night, a cat the next. When the cat died from exposure my neighbor and I didn't have the heart to use the noose-like trap anymore. We're back to using a more humane cage trap where there's no injury or death in the process.
The cat's death was very traumatic. Rob and I cut the wire cable but couldn't get it off from around his waist. We called the trapper and he tried to explain how to do it, all the while hurrying up the interstate at my desparate request. We had the cat lying on our dining room table over newspapers, a surgery table of sorts. He was breathing very shallowly and I became quite alarmed. I thought he was my neighbor's cat, Tommy. I could just imagine the phone call, "John, we accidently killed your cat." When the trapper arrived he got the noose off very quickly but sadlly, the cat was already dead. We felt so bad! I found out later that the cat was not my neighbor's thankfully.
We had a little funeral, burying him in our pasture with the chicken Saphira and the baby lambs. Our pasture has become quite the cemetery! Sam played taps on the trombone and I offered the eulogy. Matthew picked some wildflowers to put on its grave.
Morbid as it sounds, I took some posthumous pictures as well just in case I see "Missing Cat" signs all over town with photos. If it looks like him, I can show them the pictures and they can identify him. I can assure them that he had a decent burial. I feel so bad that I inadvertantly caused his death that I'm going to donate cat food to the animal shelter for "penance."

I just had to show y'all a picture of this incredible dog. Notice anything different about her? Or does she appear to be just a normal, healthy lab? She looks pretty happy to me. Amazingly, this cute girl was run over by a truck the day before. She even has the tire marks over her back to prove it! The truck hit her and sped off. She got up and walked away! You know, sometimes it's animals that are my heroes.

Goodness, where has the time gone? I apologize to all my dedicated readers for slipping. Here is a picture of Matthew with our new(ish) chicken, Saphira. Our neighbors gave her to us when they realized she was a bit too difficult to care for. They lose that baby chick cuteness fast. Anyway, she is as tame as a parrot and will sit on your shoulder anytime. Watch out though, she likes to peck at things and she's pecked at my tooth a couple of times.
Unbelievably, all our chickens our safe even though a racoon lives somewhere nearby. I can hear him at night, his eerie chatter wakes me at about three in the morning. I send our dog out for a quick sniff which seems to deter him. One night the racoon caught our chicken Tina, who preferred roosting outside of the coop at night. I yelled out the window, "Stop that, stop!" (as if he understood me) and ran outside. He had let go of her and she just lay on the ground, a still heap of feathers. I thought for sure she was a goner, but then we noticed that she was still breathing! Almost half of her feathers had been pulled off and I wasn't sure whether she would make it through the night. I put her in our shed in a little box and anxiously awaited morning. By morning she was out of her box and wandering around the shed. She had even laid an egg! When she saw that I had opened the door to the shed for her, she ran out and miraculously wasn't the worse for wear. You can bet she roosts in the coop every night now!
Oh, and as a little side note, our neighbor got some chickens this spring. And guess what? One is a rooster!! Now I'll hear the wonderful crowing of a rooster every day and not feel guilty. Now, as he's still trying out his teenager voice, he sounds pretty bad. Good thing he doesn't have to endure acne as well.

My New Babies

One of our chickens just hatched four cute, fluffy baby chicks. It is nothing short of a miracle. I am always amazed at birth. I remember when I was training to be a midwife I would marvel at the miracle of birth, this tiny newborn human wiggling in my hands as it takes its first breath. It is a sacred moment and I was always humbled. Seeing these newborn chicks I feel the same way. I'm used to going to the feed store and stuffing six or eight chicks in a box, hearing their peeps as I drive home. But I didn't marvel. The feed store baby chicks were hatched in an incubator, removed from any maternal nurturing. These new chicks were patiently cared for by their mother who forgo food and water and her favorite dust bath to sit on the eggs. She sat on them for endless weeks and I often wondered if they would ever hatch. We wondered how long a chicken would lay on eggs before she realized they would never hatch, if they had not been fertilized or if somehow all the embryos had died. Then suddenly, there she was with her little fluffy brood behind her one morning last week, proudly strutting around the backyard. Because I am maternal by nature, I couldn't help becoming their second mother and cooing over them and worrying about them. Where should I keep them so they will be safe? What if a hawk flies down and snatches one up? What will the other hens do to these babies? What will they eat? I was so used to taking over all mothering duties that I didn't trust the one mother who instinctively knows what's best - their chicken mother. She is a wonderful mother. She hides them under her at the least provocation and fluffs out and hisses if you get to close. At night they are safely tucked away in a hole she has made. During the day they follow her around the pasture, watching her and learning how to be chickens. It's so cute to see these little chicken miniatures following her lead and scratching and pecking at this and that on the ground.
Since we needed to give away our rooster, I'm hoping that we have at least one rooster from the four. Then, if a neighbor is bothered by the rooster and asks us if we have a rooster we can innocently say, "No, we gave our rooster away and we haven't bought any new ones this year." And then, to shift blame I'll say (trying not to smile) "You know, my neighbor next door has chickens, maybe it's one of hers..."